Dear Friends
Are you exhausted from doing, forcing, trying, ‘getting things done”.? What if you were to stop “forcing’ life, and surrendered all that energy into being present and just ‘allowing”? Aaaah. Doesnt’ the idea of that make you feel a bit more relaxed?
Learning to be present, in the moment, in the now, is a gift that has many rewards.
I’ve been sitting (figuratively) , waiting for a few days for what I call “the impulse” to write this newsletter. I know I must send one out. It’s March after all – the middle of March – and I still haven’t got around to writing it.
And yet, as I started writing earlier today, because I felt I ‘have to do it now- stop procrastinating, Brenda,” nothing came. Blank screen. Blank mind. What is going on?!!??
And yet there is a part of me that knows I am waiting, I have chosen deliberately to be in a space of ‘allowing” something to flow through my mind and my heart, and ultimately my fingers on the keyboard. And so I am now still waiting.
The interesting thing is that my mind has not attached to any thoughts about not being good enough. Nor has it decided that I am a failure for not doing this “on time”. For once, it is absolutely quiet on the subject. Well, almost. It’s like i have slipped into a quiet vacuum, where my mind is not judging every move I make (or don’t make) or commenting on the moves of others, either, for that matter. There is a deep stillness. A kind of peaceful emptiness.
The first time I expereinced this a few years ago, I had just read Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now”. It was a remarkable sensation when I sat one day at Jetline, waiting to get something printed, and felt suspended in time, with no thoughts except “ah, I am here now. nothing else matters for this moment.” I was fully present in my body. I remember clearly what I was wearing, and the sensation of being so grounded on the stool i was on, so connected to the temperature of the air around me… and all this in a printing shop in the middle of a busy and pressured day!! How arbitrary and unprofound, my judgmental mind might say.
But that is exactly it!! It is in the small and unexpected places of life that we find the magic. And it is in the expereince of practicing ‘presence” that we become fully alive. “Life as Art” is one of the concepts taught in Nia. To see everything we encounter as an artistic masterpiece, no matter what our critical minds might like to say on the matter.In case you have ever wondered why I called my cottage “Manawa Magic Cottage”, MANAWA, is one of the principles of the Huna way, which I have learnt about in my Kahuna trainings with Anthea Hardwick (master kahuna teacher). MANAWA means ‘NOW IS THE MOMENT OF POWER. BE HERE NOW.(OR BE PRESENT).” And I am learning that with this principle, so many things can shift and change in a moment. With acute awareness, we can shift our perception of a situation or person or ourselves. By being fully present, and “allowing”, something new can show up. I call what shows up ‘magical surprises”. Some people call them miracles.
If there is one main thing I have learnt through all my experience with bodywork (Nia, Kinesiology, Kahuna), it is that the body is the greatest vehicle we have to keep us present. And when we are present, all negative thoughts and emotions, (as well as positive ones that we love to stay attached to and keep us stuck in expecting things to be a certain way.. which then causes suffering all over again), we can find the deep inner peace which we are all ultimately yearning for. That deep stillness.
By becoming fully aware of your body as you sit here reading this email, you may sense something small in your attention opening up – a new sensation of being.. Notice your breathing, your feet on the ground. where are your hands? Are they hot or cold or clammy or dry? What does your jaw feel like? Tense or relaxed? Just by paying attention to your body, do you notice that you can’t focus on anything else. You can’t think about what you have to do tomorrow at the same time, or what your mother said to you yesterday that irked you. Your attention is here. Now. Your breathing may slow down or get deeper. A sense of calm may come over you.
Many masters of self growth / psychology /spirituality etc tell us that we suffer because we are living in the past or focussing on the future, and we are not fully appreciating the present. Even if you are in a difficult time in your life or your day, when you go into the very small particle of each moment of existence, you will find that you are actually ok, and life is still there. And all is well. You are breathing, you are sitting, you are reading this. You are you, and you are in your body. And that in itself becomes a comfort and an opportunity to ground yourself, and then springboard back into life with more energy and balance.
The funny thing about presence is that it also brings us to the full awareness of being with ourselves in that moment… face to face. No masks. No pretence. If we detach our thoughts from everything around us, and go into our bodies, connect to our breath, and become present… then everything we are, our full magnificent selves, show up for us to see.
And we have the choice to love what we see, accepting it all, forgiving it all, and loving it all, or to start the machine of self judgment and sabotage all over again. And that is when there is an opportunity to exercise that muscle of staying present with acute awareness. No judgment, just love.
As I have moved through my journey at quite a pace these past two years, growing my business , teaching people the “Art of Exquisite Self Care”… I have come to realise that self care goes way beyond just having a nice pedicure, a warm bubblebath or a massage. Taking those steps are the first steps to really caring for yourself, especially if you have been someone who always takes care of others first. I was just like that for many years. And it took a huge leap of faith and courage to step into something new that took me away from my family, when I went on a five day Kahuna training in 2007 as a “body” ( I was nowhere near becoming a kahuna practitioner then… massaging was never on my to-do list, just by the way!!.) My dear friend and teacher, Anthea, said to me ‘if you do this, your daughters will get wings and so will you.” And she was right. My family managed just fine without me, and I discovered parts of myself that I never knew existed, and I was set on a path that has given me wings beyond my wildest imaginings. (although the wings have only spread out recently into full flight.).
What I am saying here, is that self care means more than taking time out in small ways, although that’s definitely part of it. For me, self care extends much deeper into how you relate to yourself in each moment of your day, how you allow yourself to be guided to take steps that call to your soul, and how you think about yourself in every moment.
Moments build… one after the other. One of my favourite quotes that made a huge impact on my life and was a bit of a wake up call for me is this: “How you spend your days is how you spend your life”. For me, I have extended that into “how you spend your energy on thoughts, and what you think, is how you will create your life”.
So, how do you regard yourself in each moment? What thoughts do you have about yourself that have been running like a tape recorder, moment to moment, day after day, month after month, year after year, that do not serve you in any way? What thoughts do you have about who you are in the world, what purpose you serve? Are they uplifting and positive, kind and tender, aimed at being loving toward your heart and soul, your body and your crazy busy mind, or are they harsh and judgmental and critical?
Becoming present is a way to find out just what they are. And being present more often, you can then start to empty them out of your mind, make space, and “allow” new thoughts to form, that could be more loving and accepting and forgiving about yourself. This way, you become more whole and can live a more fulfilling, happier life in each moment. It’s a choice.
So here I am now, looking back at what I have written. Gosh! I started with an emptiness, a sense of “allowing” and being okay with not knowing. I actually thought I would write this tomorrow. And suddenly , words have just flowed onto the screen. The “impulse” arrived unexpectedly, and the “surprise” has shown up. Like magic!! The magic of getting things done by letting go, using feminine energy, instead of the masculine energy of forcing things to happen.
The space of “allowing” is a feminine principle which is an amazing way to wander through life in a gentler way than we are conditioned to believe…. but that is something I will leave for another newsletter. I am in the middle of assisting on a Kahuna Level 2 training, which is all about the feminine art of receiving, through being vulnerable and “allowing”. So the feminine way of being is what I am practicing at this moment. 🙂
May you take exquisite care of yourself. Practice the Art of Being Present.( it is a gift that is ours at any moment – hence the word “present”) And see what happens… you never know what magical surprise might just show up.
I’d love to hear if you have had any experiences with practicing this in your life. Leave me a comment.
with love and aloha
Brenda